Good News!

After post-surgery follow up appointments with both my surgical oncologist and my medical oncologist, hearing the results of the pathology reports and lab work ... we can finally breathe a sigh of relief that chemo and surgery did their job, and no additional chemo or surgery is needed. It's time to move on to the next phase, radiation ... but it's also time to transform from breast cancer patient to breast cancer survivor!

Of course, I'll be a breast cancer patient for the rest of my life. The appointments and scans will always be a part of my life ... but for now, we move forward with positive strength and hope that the round 1 victory against breast cancer was a knock-out, and that there will not be a round 2!

I find that on my mind a lot these days. I guess that's a natural thought progression from the tough conversations I've had in these last appointments about where we are now. And I continue to ask the tough questions ... what are the stats on the percentage of recurrence, where is it most likely to recur, what can I do to try and make a difference? Some of the answers are hard to hear. You just want to fight this battle and be done ... but the honest truth is, you just don't know if you're done or not.

So I'm having a hard time speaking the words I've coveted hearing for months.

Cancer free.
Am I?

For now, the doctors say it's gone ... cancer cells were effectively killed by chemo and anything left was removed by surgery. Any other remaining cancer cells will be eradicated by upcoming radiation treatments. I didn't think I'd have such a tough time celebrating ... of course, I'm happy ... but it's just not time to celebrate the end of this journey quite yet. One of my doctors summed it up in a way that coincides with how I feel. We're happy now ... we'll celebrate the 1 year and 2 year marks ... but we really won't dance for joy until the 5 year mark.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. But my elation is guarded. I guess if any one thing comes from all the conversations with doctors, if you really listen and ask the tough questions ... you just know too much about what can happen. But you can't let it rule your life.

So today I smile and take on the role of breast cancer survivor. I celebrate the outcome from taking the risks that I've taken over the past 7 months of chemotherapy drugs, steroids, scans and procedures. Today is a new day ... it hasn't been an enjoyable journey, but one that certainly puts the "little things" in life in perspective, and one that changes the way you view your daily life and relationships. My new normal ... and honestly, I feel I've emerged stronger on this side than where I was before.

On Monday, I'll have a CT scan to do the "mapping" for my radiation treatment plan. Most likely, I'll start radiation treatments the first week of November. It will take a total of somewhere between 28-33 treatments, spanning a time of about 6 weeks, to complete. I'll go 5 times per week for those treatments, with a set appointment time each weekday morning. Here's to phase 3 of treatment, which seemed so incredibly far away last March.