Bucket List?

Does it sound morbid to say that I've been thinking a lot lately about my bucket list? Don't we all have things we want to do while we still have time? I guess a cancer diagnosis makes you think more about how much time you actually have left to check those things off the list ... and how little time you really have in your life to do the things you'd like to do.

What is a bucket list? I suppose we all might define it slightly differently ... but to me, it's the things I hope to do in the days of my life, but also things near and dear to my heart. Accomplishments, milestones, destinations, celebrations.

What's on your bucket list? And do you really think about getting those things checked off sooner rather than later? Do you "mean" to go places and do things on the list, but life gets in the way and you find yourself not getting to do the things that are important in your heart? What if you wait so long for the circumstance to be perfect that you never get to do them?

We've had a good family life. We'll celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in December. We've experienced the joys of becoming parents through birth and by adoption. We've had the joy of parenting at different stages of our lives ... through our 20's, 30's, 40's and now 50's. And I wouldn't trade that for an empty nest for anything. We've been able to enjoy our vacations by spending the best kind of family time there is for us ... relaxing and building sandcastles with our kids on a beach somewhere. Our kids have been lucky to travel to some fun and beautiful beaches from coast to coast, and north to south ... Lake Michigan, Destin, Miami South Beach, Ft Lauderdale, Florida Keys, Bahamas, Huntington Beach, Maui, Cancun, to name a few. We've watched one son graduate high school and college, and begin his teaching career. We're blessed, no doubt.

But since I've been faced with my own mortality over the past 7 months, here are some of the things that  I'd still like to have time to check off my list ... and my list building continues:

Spend as much time as possible every year ... every single year ... on the beach as a family. At least as long as we have kids who are still willing to go on vacation with their parents, ha

Climb the Great Wall with Abby on a trip to China to visit the area where she was born, continuing on my mission to have her always be proud of her Asian heritage

Spend a week on Kauai again, one of the most beautiful places I've ever been

Go to a NASCAR race

See all 3 of my kids graduate from high school and college

Dance at my kids' weddings

Watch with joy as my children become parents themselves

See life through the eyes of my grandchildren

Will I get to do all of these wonderful things, and more? None of us every really know, do we? Being a young parent doesn't guarantee you longer with your kids, or the chance to meet your grandkids ... my dad was only 21 when I was born, and his premature death at age 49 showed me that. And a cancer diagnosis certainly doesn't mean that you won't have many years left with your family ... but what I think it does, at least in my case, is fuel the urgency to do some things NOW. While I still can ... before life changes on a dime again, as it did in March.

I'm just itching to run away with my family from the struggles and fears of our current days to our happy place, the beach. Right now. I feel safe there. No doctor's appointments or medicals tests there. No lab work, no needles, no fears. I'm ready to go ... not in a few months when things are less crazy, or if it's easier to take off work later, or if flights are less expensive, or when it's a better time, etc. My world is viewed through lenses that have been tinted with doubt, and today is my new "someday" for the things close to my heart. For what if there is no tomorrow?

And in the meantime, I continue to work on my bucket list. What's on yours? What one thing can you choose from that list right now, and start making it a reality today instead of tomorrow?