Relay for Life

Last year, I walked the path around the Pekin Lagoon with my family for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I was two months into chemo, and definitely feeling its effects. But I felt I had to be there to support the team Mitch's employer has, and to try and gain some strength and motivation from being a participant.

I didn't see anyone else in a bandana, so I felt kind of conspicuous. A few people made conversation with me since it was obvious I was in the midst of my battle, and for the most part, it was good. One conversation took a sour turn when a woman began to tell me about her daughter's fight with breast cancer, which ended too soon ... and she obviously still had a lot of angry, bitter feelings. My heart went out to her, but I had to end the conversation and move on because I had my own daughter's ears in the conversation. Abby wasn't going to benefit from what she was saying, and that was my concern. Makes you wonder why people would say things like that in front of a child ... but it was obvious she was still dealing with the hurt and not using her best judgement. I just wasn't going to let her hurt my child in the process.

So in the process of the last year, I've learned a lot about what to say, and what not to say, to people facing their own battles. The most important thing is to remain positive and be supportive. Once you're diagnosed with cancer, everyone has a story for you. Sometimes it's the tale of how horrible their own chemo and radiation were. But most often it's not of their own experience, but that of a friend or sister or neighbor or co-worker. The things people say can be stressful, and while they don't mean it ... it has to be tuned out or the conversation closed. There were a couple of times I had to just say "everyone's journey is different" and walk away. Focusing on their negative stories would not be helpful to my own journey.

This year, I'm humbled to say that I'll walk the Relay for Life in Pekin as one of their "Honorary Survivors" ... which means sharing my story a couple of times. There is a survivor dinner where my family will be at my side and I'll give a longer speech ... then on Relay night it will be a quicker set of comments and I'll help lead the Survivor Lap. And the best treat of all for me is that Drew will be singing the survivor song. What a special night it will be, and another wonderful moment to have friends and family by my side, every step of the way. And I won't be telling any negative stories, you can count on that!