Bulletproof

Today we had a meeting of about 40 people at my office, and at the end of it one of the attendees (who knows quite a bit about my treatments and journey) came up to me and said, "I just have to tell you, you look great. You look strong and confident, and ... bulletproof."

I love that. Bulletproof. After what the last 12 months have brought my way and all that I have endured physically and emotionally ... I feel bulletproof!

People are making a lot of comments to me now about looking more like myself, and that is so great. It's really uplifting to hear that not only do I feel better ... but others can see the physical differences and the strength and stamina coming back to me more each day.

Tomorrow night we leave for the beach, and I could not be happier about that. Last year I spent spring break on the beach in Destin smiling at the kids as they built sandcastles, but crying on the inside with fear and concern. I realized while I was sitting there that people could walk right past me and not be aware of the battle I was about to face. I knew when I came home, it was time to start chemo and face the reality of life as a cancer patient, so I found myself wishing the week would never end. Of course, it did end and life went on. And I guess it just goes to show that you really don't know what path another person is walking by just seeing them. Sometimes now if I see someone who seems to be having a bad day or maybe looks like they don't feel 100% well, I wonder to myself what personal battles they might be facing. You just never know.

This year, I'll sit on the beach and enjoy the sights and sounds and smells. The one thing I wanted more than anything over the 10 months of going through treatment, or recovering from surgery, or before starting radiation was just simply to go to the beach. Each trip I attempted to make happen never panned out for one reason or another. But the time is here, and I'm headed for 9 days in my most relaxing and comfortable place in this world. It's especially great that our entire family will be together this year, as Drew has not had a spring break with us for 5 years, since he was a senior in high school. Looking forward to soaking it all in, and finding my peace and strength in the waves, the sand, the sunsets and being surrounded with those I care about the most.

And I'll gaze out over the Gulf waters and remind myself that after all I've endured, I now feel ... bulletproof.